This Selfie Toaster will change the way you eat breakfast forever! Let me put this into perspective for you. How many times have you faced the problem of having a sudden urge to smear butter all over another human being? Well if you said “every waking moment of my life” then don’t be ashamed! You’re just like every other normal American. If you’ve ever dreamed of smearing butter all over your favorite political figure, but you’ve never had the opportunity to do it. Then this selfie toaster is the only toaster you should own. It will allow you to indulge in your deepest, darkest, and most buttery fantasies.
Lets get into how this selfie toaster works. First, it’s pure fucking magic. Second, it’s pure fucking magic. No one really knows how this thing works. As soon as you put a piece of your favorite white bread into this toaster it reads your thoughts. Now most people think that a mind reading toaster is creepy, but it’s not. This selfie toaster was built with special privacy filtering mind reading technology. The toaster only finds out your political party. If you are a democrat it will print the face of your favorite political figure on your toast so that you can start your very own political butter smearing party all over your plate!
If you happen to be affiliated with any other party than the democrats, this selfie toaster will only do 1 thing. Print out the face of our most beloved leader.
Dictator Obama. President Obama! Just staring at the face of change on your toast day after day will only compel you to come to the democrats side. Obamacare isn’t just about healthcare anymore. It’s also about toast. Obamacares enough to be on your toast, and look you in the eyes every morning and say “American citizen… I Love You”
The Selfie toaster is the perfect gift idea for anyone who loves toast. It’s perfect for anyone whose into selfies, foodplay, smearing butter on things, or politics.