Keep Jellyfish Pets! Worlds Deadliest Sea Creature!
Did you know that the jellyfish is the worlds deadliest sea creature? Well now you can keep jellyfish pets at home. If you asked a random person what the worlds deadliest sea creature is they would most likely respond with “shark!” Well though sharks have a recorded 464 kills from 1580 to 2009. It’s the adorable, unsuspecting jellyfish that is the true silent ocean assassin. While unprovoked shark attacks average out to about 1 a year. The box jellyfish is responsible for 20-40 deaths a year. That makes these little jellyfish pets the most bad ass creature you can keep at home legally.
The problem with trying to keep jellyfish pets comes in figuring out how to keep them alive. Most people give up their quest to keep jellyfish as pets when they get into things they don’t understand. Knowing what ppm levels of ammonia, and nitrate are okay for jellyfish, or knowing the pH of your tank water is what will determine the equilibrium balance between the two chemicals. is enough to scare away the jellyfish pet newbie. Even if they progress beyond the research and actually purchase a tank, they soon find that their jellyfish friends are really sensitive to changes in salinity, or temperature, or PH. Once that first cleaning comes, dead jellyfish normally follow.
That’s where the beauty of the desktop jellyfish tank comes in. It allows you to keep jellyfish pets without all the worry about any of the monitoring or research. This thing allows you to breed and grow the worlds deadliest sea creature as if you were Poseidon. It comes with instructions that even a 5 year old could understand. They overnight jellyfish to you as well, so if a problem does come up then you’ll have a replacement overnight.
This is the perfect gift idea for anyone who wants to keep jellyfish pets, or anyone who loves watching the “World’s Deadliest” on TV. I highly recommend breeding an army of intelligent mutated jellyfish that you can throw at your friends! Just wear gloves!
Immortal Canned Bacon!
Who doesn’t love bacon? To make sure that bacon can get to all people in all countries of the world no matter how desolate the region, we now have Canned Bacon. This shit will last 10 years. Therefore, this shit is immortal.
Let’s be serious though, who is really going to wait 10 years to open this fully cooked and ready to eat delicious canned meat snack? No one will wait, like rabid animals as soon as this can gets to you, you will, undoubtedly, gnaw the top off with your teeth and swallow the contents whole. Try not to choke, as the all artificial added smoke flavor caresses your taste buds, forcing your brain into blissful submission.
You know you want this. Who can possibly resist the savory temptation of Canned Bacon? This is the perfect gift idea for the hunter, the foodie, the fatty, or the newborn baby in your life.
The Dog Dehydrator?
For those times that you need to make jerky, and all you have is man’s best friend: The Dog Dehydrator!
Imagine this, you come home from work and look in your jerky jar only to find that Fido got to your jerky first. Well don’t worry, all you need to do is put the patented puff-n-fluff dog dehydrating vest on your pre-washed canine, and in 24 hours, you will have delicious jerky to refill that jar! If you turn it off sooner than 24 hours, you may just have a dry dog.
Never again will man be out of meat snacks! Never again will a stray dog wander the streets without purpose!
If you needed a gift idea for a dog person or a remedy for a dog problem, then you owe it to yourself to buy the dog dehydrator!